Robot Marching Band

Jackson State Marching Band – Is that a pretty blue or what?

One of the biggest fears of the Establishment is that labor prices will go up if the spigot is turned down the least little bit by President Trump’s threat to reduce supply. Like real wages going up for the first time in 40 years is the biggest threat known to mankind! I wish the pundits who espouse that notion on TV would be paid what they were 40 years ago, then we’ll talk. They seem to want a permanent underclass of low-wage workers whether it be people from Mexico, the Middle East or Africa.

The new threat to labor is robots. Whenever increases to the minimum wage are passed like they did in Iowa (and the State Legislature promptly took that power away from counties), businesses like McDonalds immediately threaten to bring in automated kiosks. Robotic hamburger flippers. Advocates always see labor costs as the only cost of business, “Do you want a $15 dollar hamburger??”

But here’s the point, rather than the expenditure for the high price of a marching band (uniforms, instruments, the director, flying them here, flying them there), why not just play prerecorded music? Think of the savings! God knows the music would be better. A hologram projector could make us think humans were marching about the field. Its a win-win!

The trouble is, there is a certain sense of humanity that actual people bring to the game. An indescribable goodness and artistry. Why do they have a greeter at Wal-Mart? They could stick a robot at the door to say, “Welcome- to Walmart-how -may -I -help-you?” The robot would be cheaper and no sick calls, no irritating mannerisms. The robot would never miss the signs of a shoplifter.

Hell, why not replace Congress with robots? That’s a no-brainer!

Jim Roach


About Iowa Life

Experiencing life in Iowa.
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