“¿Cómo está usted?”

Winter in Iowa and remarkably, the idea of spending a couple of weeks in a warmer climate crosses your mind. At first I was thinking The Bahamas or Panama, but then I realized plane tickets, vaccinations and passports were involved. So I thought hey! Miami Beach! For most areas you don’t need a passport, they speak some English there, most of the places you can drink the water, their economy is based on the US Dollar, and if you’re in your hotel room by 10 pm you generally won’t die! Its a win – win.

A couple of problems did arise though. The Como Metropolitan Hotel (a $1,000 for my planned 3 night stay) seemed a little pricey for crappy service:

“The Metropolitan by COMO is not a customer friendly hotel.  I have been treated poorly there & was kept waiting past check in time for a room with no apology whatsoever.  It lacks energy and could just as well be in Iowa rather than Miami Beach.”

I thought the coup de grace was, “You could just as well be in Iowa!” Sac re bleu! The reviews of virtually ALL the hotels had a common theme. There was blood on the walls, the sheets were stained, there were dead bugs under the sink, there were live bugs under the sink, the paint was chipped and peeling, the floors were dirty, house keeping was atrocious, the staff was rude and surly, and on and on and on…

Can you see what an actual week there would cost?? 6 nights for $2,000?? Goodnight! Horrible smells in the hallways, drunks in the hallways. You can see all this coming if you read between the lines in the brochures. They talk about the “diverse” culture, the “laid back” lifestyle. The “cosmopolitan” atmosphere. The 23 languages spoken in Miami. They themselves now describe Miami as a “mosaic”, not a melting pot. I understand there is a fairly strong expat community in Miami.

What you have is a bunch of people who shouldn’t even be here destroying America. They’re not eager to be Americans, to embrace the American dream, they simply brought the habits and tendencies that ruined their own country here. Living in a university town I’ve seen it a million times. Asians acting like Asians, Mexicans acting like Mexicans, Middle Easterners  acting like Middle Easterners. Your countries are unlivable hells holes, don’t act like you, act like us!

Our country is #1, not yours! Why the sam hell would you act like you? Act like us. You want to make this country number 87? Number 173? Your ways failed. Miami used to be a kick ass place. With any luck I’ll see for myself soon, whether it has become a dangerous 3rd world hellhole (shithole), or it is a place to be proud of. I’ve seen the decline in neighboring states up close. You can tell a lot from a motel room. A nation that was built on the protestant work ethic is being replaced with cultural laziness. ‘Diverse’ means lazy. ‘Laid back’ means people don’t show up on time. ‘Mosaic’ means people who hate America. ‘Cosmopolitan’ means don’t be out after dark.

Jim Roach

[Saying, “Como esta usted?” in a slow, drawn out/rednecky kind of way is quite fun.]

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About Iowa Life

Experiencing life in Iowa.
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